@Mark Vanlaeys, thank you for this thought-provoking post and question. I'm going to ponder this one for awhile .... what does being kind actually mean? What would it mean for a country to be kind?
Thanks Joyce. The whole concept of kindness is complicated. I think it starts where being nice trails off. It comes from a deeper place with a respect for each person's dignity.
Kindness is definitely a verb, not a noun, and it always costs something. It’s also a sister of grace.
One of the best stories ever about kindness is called Babette’s Feast. A movie was made from the story and if you haven’t read or watched it, put it on your list.
We're on the same page regarding kindness being a verb - intertwined with grace and I would say compassion as well.
I've not read the book, but the movie was / is definitely a classic. Thanks for reminding me. I'd think our library would have it in one form or another.
"... kindness goes beyond mushy BS, beyond the fake smile. It typically involves at least a tiny amount of sacrifice..." I appreciate the reminder, that we must leave "concrete evidence" of our kindness. I notice you and I are subscribed to many of the same Substack writers - some of the kindest people I know, who always demonstrate tangible kindness in their stories - Justin Deming, Heather Brebaugh, James Ron, Switter, for example. As you say, kindness may not be evident on a national scale, but it is abundantly out there. Thank you, Mark!
Mighty fine people in these parts - so true. Unfortunately, we end up preaching to the choir but that's good support for the choir members. Maybe we should think of them as kindness ambassadors.
Intelligent writing and talking is never verbosity! It’s exchanging and teaching and listening and all those good things that you do! (And encouraging people to meet their neighbors 😅)
It's frustrating to me how kindness can so often be blown off as, like you said, weakness or cowardice. Kindness is powerful, able to change a whole life with one encounter. Perhaps even to save a life. While perhaps not always easy, kindness can be such a simple thing to adopt, and an easy thing to teach our children. I can't tell you how much it warms my heart when my children speak sweetly to spiders and wasps and other things that are often hated. My hope and prayer is that their kindness will continue to seep into their bones. They'll need it, both as a tool for good and a balm for suffering.
I also loved the "plastic relationships" phrase. Ha! What a perfect description.
As I type this, my wife is reading "The City Under the Back Steps" about an ant colony (if you're not familiar with it) . Our 8-year-old granddaughter is sitting next to her taking it all in. Kindness, even to tiny insects might be innate but certainly is amplified by good parenting - which it's refreshing to hear you're doing.
Kindness "to those that are frequently hated" - I think Jesus would have certainly given an "Amen" to that. Though I've been stung by bees and wasps over the years (typically stepping on them with bare feet or when riding two wheels, I've never been stung by either when I slowly capture them inside in my hands to release outside. BTW, I wouldn't do it if I was allergic to them.
Kindness, "They'll need it, both as a tool for good and a balm for suffering." So very true. Thanks Hannah.
I've put "The City Under the Back Steps" on my wishlist, to be purchased and enjoyed soon. I'm sitting at the library now and hoped I might find it here, but no luck! I'll have to wait. It sounds like our kind of book. There is a bald-faced wasp making a nest on the porch light near our front door right now...pretty soon it will be so big that when we open the screen door, it will hit the nest. So, she is going to need to be relocated. Darn. She's a good hunter!
Bummer - a huge wasp nest near your back door. Seems like the ultimate border dispute. Good luck with the relocation though you might want to work with a community mediator.
#3 for me is greatest act of kindness. Especially these days when everyone is so distracted by their phones. Being present with someone is a true kindness. And means so much to me personally when they are. Great post Mark.
Thanks Kim. You've got me thinking. Have we ever had a more concrete step available to show our respect for someone we're talking to, than to say "excuse me, I want to silence my phone?"
This is deeply thought out. I guess no person or no country is always kind or always unkind. I’m still thinking about all you wrote. Thank you!
Yes, "always," like the word "never" should be used with caution because they are rarely accurate.
@Mark Vanlaeys, thank you for this thought-provoking post and question. I'm going to ponder this one for awhile .... what does being kind actually mean? What would it mean for a country to be kind?
Thanks Joyce. The whole concept of kindness is complicated. I think it starts where being nice trails off. It comes from a deeper place with a respect for each person's dignity.
Yes. Respect. What a quaint quality that seems to be these days. Where's Aretha when we need her?
So true. The word "respect" will soon find its way onto the updated English vocabular tests for high school seniors.
You know, I hadn't either ... wasn't what I would have thought it was. ;-)
Believe it or not, I never paid attention to the lyrics of "Respect" until right now when I googled it - Thanks for the heads up.
Kindness is definitely a verb, not a noun, and it always costs something. It’s also a sister of grace.
One of the best stories ever about kindness is called Babette’s Feast. A movie was made from the story and if you haven’t read or watched it, put it on your list.
We're on the same page regarding kindness being a verb - intertwined with grace and I would say compassion as well.
I've not read the book, but the movie was / is definitely a classic. Thanks for reminding me. I'd think our library would have it in one form or another.
"... kindness goes beyond mushy BS, beyond the fake smile. It typically involves at least a tiny amount of sacrifice..." I appreciate the reminder, that we must leave "concrete evidence" of our kindness. I notice you and I are subscribed to many of the same Substack writers - some of the kindest people I know, who always demonstrate tangible kindness in their stories - Justin Deming, Heather Brebaugh, James Ron, Switter, for example. As you say, kindness may not be evident on a national scale, but it is abundantly out there. Thank you, Mark!
Switter is an a$$hole, Sharron. I know him off camera.
I might just be projecting here but the same can be said for most of us off camera - especially those with the "Y" chromosome.
Mighty fine people in these parts - so true. Unfortunately, we end up preaching to the choir but that's good support for the choir members. Maybe we should think of them as kindness ambassadors.
I do believe in the value of kindness. I think my answer would be nuanced as yours was here.
Thank you, Deborah, for the affirmation. I've been accused of being verbose more than once.
Intelligent writing and talking is never verbosity! It’s exchanging and teaching and listening and all those good things that you do! (And encouraging people to meet their neighbors 😅)
Thanks, Karen, for your steadfast support.
It's frustrating to me how kindness can so often be blown off as, like you said, weakness or cowardice. Kindness is powerful, able to change a whole life with one encounter. Perhaps even to save a life. While perhaps not always easy, kindness can be such a simple thing to adopt, and an easy thing to teach our children. I can't tell you how much it warms my heart when my children speak sweetly to spiders and wasps and other things that are often hated. My hope and prayer is that their kindness will continue to seep into their bones. They'll need it, both as a tool for good and a balm for suffering.
I also loved the "plastic relationships" phrase. Ha! What a perfect description.
As I type this, my wife is reading "The City Under the Back Steps" about an ant colony (if you're not familiar with it) . Our 8-year-old granddaughter is sitting next to her taking it all in. Kindness, even to tiny insects might be innate but certainly is amplified by good parenting - which it's refreshing to hear you're doing.
Kindness "to those that are frequently hated" - I think Jesus would have certainly given an "Amen" to that. Though I've been stung by bees and wasps over the years (typically stepping on them with bare feet or when riding two wheels, I've never been stung by either when I slowly capture them inside in my hands to release outside. BTW, I wouldn't do it if I was allergic to them.
Kindness, "They'll need it, both as a tool for good and a balm for suffering." So very true. Thanks Hannah.
I've put "The City Under the Back Steps" on my wishlist, to be purchased and enjoyed soon. I'm sitting at the library now and hoped I might find it here, but no luck! I'll have to wait. It sounds like our kind of book. There is a bald-faced wasp making a nest on the porch light near our front door right now...pretty soon it will be so big that when we open the screen door, it will hit the nest. So, she is going to need to be relocated. Darn. She's a good hunter!
Bummer - a huge wasp nest near your back door. Seems like the ultimate border dispute. Good luck with the relocation though you might want to work with a community mediator.
#2 spoke to me, I need to reconcile with someone and it is a good guidepost, thank you! 🥰
I'm very glad it spoke to you, Karen.
Thanks for this compassionate post, Mark.
Thanks, Manuel, for restacking.
#3 for me is greatest act of kindness. Especially these days when everyone is so distracted by their phones. Being present with someone is a true kindness. And means so much to me personally when they are. Great post Mark.
Thanks Kim. You've got me thinking. Have we ever had a more concrete step available to show our respect for someone we're talking to, than to say "excuse me, I want to silence my phone?"
Beautiful, Mark. Kindness is powerful. Thank you for reminding us.
Thanks for the affirmation Jeanne.