" Wasn't America Always Kind ? "
A THREE MINUTE READ
I started thinking about this post a year ago when my then seven-year-old granddaughter saw my wife walking toward us wearing her T-shirt emblazoned with the words: “Make America Kind Again.” After a brief glance she turned to me. “Wasn’t America always kind? Well, she’s a sensitive, bright and inquisitive sweetheart, so she had me. I don’t remember what answer I gave her, but I’m sure it was vague, if not downright evasive.
And I still struggle to broach the subject. It’s not so much the question that bothers me, but my gut response to it - which is “Hell no!” Ask the Native Americans who’ve lost 99% of their ancestral land - if America was kind to them. Ask the countless people of African descent whose ancestors came to this country in chains. Ask the marginalized, the disabled, or the working poor if America has always been kind to them.
We as a nation have fallen far short of the descriptor “kind.” But there are millions of break-through cases of kindness every day among common Americans. I make the distinction between individuals and country because the latter has tended to focus on enhancing the economic prosperity of those in power at the expense of all the actors that keep the show going. The leaders of our nation, be they political or economic, are typically incapable of overflow kindness unless there are transactions involved - think votes or bullion.
Among the wealthiest, hidden agendas nourished by misinformation, anger, and fear- mongering are becoming ever-larger impediments to genuine kindness.
Across the globe kindness is indeed being challenged, but it will not be defeated! Random brushes with kindness can re-energize the most downtrodden of spirits.
A Few Thoughts on Kindness
At least for me, kindness goes beyond mushy BS, beyond the fake smile. It typically involves at least a tiny amount of sacrifice, but the sky’s the limit when it comes to giving. Be it generosity of spirit, time, or material gifts however small or large, each can change attitudes with unintended consequences. It can be concrete evidence that someone actually cares in a world that is characterized by plastic relationships.
Sometimes the largest acts of kindness involve the least effort. Respectfully listening to an apology by someone who has hurt us may have a life-changing effect on both parties. Obviously, the level to which we’ve been hurt tremendously influences the amount of effort it takes to quietly listen. But doing so lets the offender reveal previously unknown contributors to their mistakes and the agonizing choices they’d been left with. Deeper understandings, with rare exceptions, create the potential for new levels of connection.
Being fully present may be a rare gift to someone in great need - be they stranger or a life-long partner.
Kindness begets kindness and can be mightily contagious.
Anyone can be kind when soaring through life. The trick is to be kind when downdrafts and turbulence have us on the verge of losing control.
Kindness is often misinterpreted as weakness or cowardice. The epitome of kindness might be standing up to a bully in their act of abusing the helpless or disenfranchised.
So, to answer my granddaughter’s question - “Wasn’t America Always Kind?”
I wish I had responded: “Every day there have always been lots of Americans who have been very kind to each other.” An honest grandfather might even mention that in the half dozen countries where I’d done volunteer work, I found no evidence that Americans had a monopoly on kindness.
And then five to ten years down the road I could give a more nuanced answer. What would your response be to - “wasn’t America always kind??
This is deeply thought out. I guess no person or no country is always kind or always unkind. I’m still thinking about all you wrote. Thank you!
@Mark Vanlaeys, thank you for this thought-provoking post and question. I'm going to ponder this one for awhile .... what does being kind actually mean? What would it mean for a country to be kind?