80/20, Mark. It's always worth looking of the 80% or what we have in common. One of my good friends here is a cranky old guy who loves nothing more than bating people with political snark. So I decided to give it right back at him, grin, and give him a big man hug. Sure, he still tries to bait, but now he grins and knows that all hell get from me is friendship, and that's my idea of fun.
BTW, I appreciate your comment about just giving the guy a grin and a hug. That would be both disarming and fun - what's not to love? It's really hard to hate someone when you've just received a heartfelt hug from them.
Thanks for sharing this story, Mark. I’m always so impressed by your dedication to seeing past the surface of people and situations. I hope your gym friend can stop watching/reading the mainstream news. I stopped about 6 years ago and my happiness levels have gone right up!
Thanks for the complement, Amanda. It's great to hear of your success at addressing the news inundation. In these trying times where so much is at risk, balance between staying informed and staying sane is a tough one to achieve.
Hi Mark. Is this is about differing political opinions (Us and Them) or about helping someone (which you are obviously doing with Ben) talk about and discover how to manage his situation? Or maybe both? My first thought was to ask Ben to tell me more about what he thought was stressing him out. It could be Fox News or perhaps there are other things on his mind.
Thanks for being a good listener for Ben... you are undoubtedly making a difference.
PS - I second SusanA's ask for a discussion of how to listen without judging. Yay SusanA! ⭐
Thanks Heather for both your support and participation in my "contest." I'll put your name and topic in the hat (it's definitely a challenge to avoid judging).
Regarding your observation that my interactions with Ben appear to be going in two different directions is exactly right. Trust is extremely important in any relationship, and it's sorely lacking in 2024. Talking about his health issues and his stress is likely to improve that trust. If Ben were of the same political mind as me, I think I would be treating him the same way, trying to lessen his self-destructive behavior. If in the process of our pseudo-friendship he takes in less harmful fabricated misinformation great. If he fact checks before passing on BS to others, all the better. To be honest however, if he's too confused to vote in the next election, I won't lose any sleep over it. Either way, less stress would be good for his health.
Very timely and well-written, Mark. We all know people who constantly feed their fear by never turning off the lies on "TV"or "social" media. I feel so sorry for them - on all sides of the political spectrum as they have no real life. They live a specially manufactured fantasy that controls their thought.
I very much admire your concept of Us AND Them. I often struggle with how anyone is still backing D. Trump. Some of my neighbors support Trump and these are kind-hearted and decent people. I just can't understand why they support such a vile and selfish person as D. Trump. I am beginning to see more being written about why people support Trump, that proves to me that I am not the only one struggling with this conundrum. I also admire how you spoke with the man at your gym. It is so important to be open and receptive to what people have to say because being critical and on the offense will probably result in people simply clamming up. How is that going to advance understanding? It won't. So this is my uncharacteristically long answer to your question about what to write about next month. Write about how to non-judgmentally listen to people we disagree with, maybe with how to voice our different opinion or point of view without completely closing down communication.
Thanks Susan, for both your input and also taking up my challenge. You bring up - "how to non-judgmentally listen to people we disagree with." Talk about conundrums, that's a huge one with many different layers. Your name and topic definitely go in the hat!
80/20, Mark. It's always worth looking of the 80% or what we have in common. One of my good friends here is a cranky old guy who loves nothing more than bating people with political snark. So I decided to give it right back at him, grin, and give him a big man hug. Sure, he still tries to bait, but now he grins and knows that all hell get from me is friendship, and that's my idea of fun.
BTW, I appreciate your comment about just giving the guy a grin and a hug. That would be both disarming and fun - what's not to love? It's really hard to hate someone when you've just received a heartfelt hug from them.
Thanks Mr Switter - it's an underlying theme but a focus on the 80/20 concept is definitely in the running for the grand prize!
Thanks for sharing this story, Mark. I’m always so impressed by your dedication to seeing past the surface of people and situations. I hope your gym friend can stop watching/reading the mainstream news. I stopped about 6 years ago and my happiness levels have gone right up!
Thanks for the complement, Amanda. It's great to hear of your success at addressing the news inundation. In these trying times where so much is at risk, balance between staying informed and staying sane is a tough one to achieve.
Hi Mark. Is this is about differing political opinions (Us and Them) or about helping someone (which you are obviously doing with Ben) talk about and discover how to manage his situation? Or maybe both? My first thought was to ask Ben to tell me more about what he thought was stressing him out. It could be Fox News or perhaps there are other things on his mind.
Thanks for being a good listener for Ben... you are undoubtedly making a difference.
PS - I second SusanA's ask for a discussion of how to listen without judging. Yay SusanA! ⭐
Thanks Heather for both your support and participation in my "contest." I'll put your name and topic in the hat (it's definitely a challenge to avoid judging).
Regarding your observation that my interactions with Ben appear to be going in two different directions is exactly right. Trust is extremely important in any relationship, and it's sorely lacking in 2024. Talking about his health issues and his stress is likely to improve that trust. If Ben were of the same political mind as me, I think I would be treating him the same way, trying to lessen his self-destructive behavior. If in the process of our pseudo-friendship he takes in less harmful fabricated misinformation great. If he fact checks before passing on BS to others, all the better. To be honest however, if he's too confused to vote in the next election, I won't lose any sleep over it. Either way, less stress would be good for his health.
Very timely and well-written, Mark. We all know people who constantly feed their fear by never turning off the lies on "TV"or "social" media. I feel so sorry for them - on all sides of the political spectrum as they have no real life. They live a specially manufactured fantasy that controls their thought.
Thanks Sharon - So pervasive like a metastatic disease!
I very much admire your concept of Us AND Them. I often struggle with how anyone is still backing D. Trump. Some of my neighbors support Trump and these are kind-hearted and decent people. I just can't understand why they support such a vile and selfish person as D. Trump. I am beginning to see more being written about why people support Trump, that proves to me that I am not the only one struggling with this conundrum. I also admire how you spoke with the man at your gym. It is so important to be open and receptive to what people have to say because being critical and on the offense will probably result in people simply clamming up. How is that going to advance understanding? It won't. So this is my uncharacteristically long answer to your question about what to write about next month. Write about how to non-judgmentally listen to people we disagree with, maybe with how to voice our different opinion or point of view without completely closing down communication.
Thanks Susan, for both your input and also taking up my challenge. You bring up - "how to non-judgmentally listen to people we disagree with." Talk about conundrums, that's a huge one with many different layers. Your name and topic definitely go in the hat!