I'm really enjoying this series Mark. As a lifelong salesman, I learned the importance of listening. I feel that a part of my success was due to the fact that I never walked into an account and just started "selling" before I even knew what they needed or wanted. I try to apply this to my everyday interactions but I am learning that there is always room for improvement.
Your comments are good to hear and not surprising. In my recent post where I addressed "Unconditional positive regard," I was basically saying in any interaction, first recognize that there's a complex human being in front of you. And then you can proceed.
It sounds like as a salesman you did just that, and it's no shocker that you were good at it. Your writing emanates not only that sensitivity, but the tension between it and the self-centered agenda that is always tempting us.
When I managed teams, I always kept a list of the things I most disliked about my own interactions with bosses. Number 1 on the list was talking to a back hunched over a keyboard. Number 2 was talking to a pair of eyes that drift to a phone or screen every time a ding dinged, and they dinged a lot. My solution was to arrive two or three hours before everyone else, get caught up on the things I needed to get done and early was good because I worked with offices around the world. When 8:30 rolled around and people started to show up, I was ready to give them my full attention. 100% willingly given attention, because their concerns were important. Working long days could feel taxing at times, but it was a price I was willing to pay so my team knew I respected them and was there to do what I could to facilitate their work. I wasn’t a great boss, but my colleagues never attempted to lynch me in the parking lot or firebomb my car. That’s something.
Surely respecting people and paying attention would go a long way toward lessening tensions. Your going above and beyond what's required, also sends a clear message that what we do here matters. It's not surprising you never got egged or worse.
I agree. Our knee-jerk inclination toward judgement seems to be an obstacle that interferes with effective listening before the first word is uttered. Who knows my characters thoughts? And who knows what he's gone through in the last 24 hours? Always so many unknowns.
Hi Mark - I read it today! I always silence my phone before going to any social event or work of course and definitely yoga class! Don’t have to even get it out at all 😀
I'm really enjoying this series Mark. As a lifelong salesman, I learned the importance of listening. I feel that a part of my success was due to the fact that I never walked into an account and just started "selling" before I even knew what they needed or wanted. I try to apply this to my everyday interactions but I am learning that there is always room for improvement.
Thanks Jim.
Your comments are good to hear and not surprising. In my recent post where I addressed "Unconditional positive regard," I was basically saying in any interaction, first recognize that there's a complex human being in front of you. And then you can proceed.
It sounds like as a salesman you did just that, and it's no shocker that you were good at it. Your writing emanates not only that sensitivity, but the tension between it and the self-centered agenda that is always tempting us.
You are very kind mark.
Just stating the facts as I see them, but Thanks.
When I managed teams, I always kept a list of the things I most disliked about my own interactions with bosses. Number 1 on the list was talking to a back hunched over a keyboard. Number 2 was talking to a pair of eyes that drift to a phone or screen every time a ding dinged, and they dinged a lot. My solution was to arrive two or three hours before everyone else, get caught up on the things I needed to get done and early was good because I worked with offices around the world. When 8:30 rolled around and people started to show up, I was ready to give them my full attention. 100% willingly given attention, because their concerns were important. Working long days could feel taxing at times, but it was a price I was willing to pay so my team knew I respected them and was there to do what I could to facilitate their work. I wasn’t a great boss, but my colleagues never attempted to lynch me in the parking lot or firebomb my car. That’s something.
Surely respecting people and paying attention would go a long way toward lessening tensions. Your going above and beyond what's required, also sends a clear message that what we do here matters. It's not surprising you never got egged or worse.
I really like your comment that "I have a bias because I'm more extrovert than introvert. I look at social interactions from that viewpoint..."
It's so easy to judge, isn't it. We do it without even being aware.
Who knows what is really going on your character's thoughts!
I love how you are exploring this.
Thanks Heather.
I agree. Our knee-jerk inclination toward judgement seems to be an obstacle that interferes with effective listening before the first word is uttered. Who knows my characters thoughts? And who knows what he's gone through in the last 24 hours? Always so many unknowns.
Hi Mark - I read it today! I always silence my phone before going to any social event or work of course and definitely yoga class! Don’t have to even get it out at all 😀
Thanks for checking it out - "Before you go" is the trick.