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Karen Kenworthy's avatar

It’s so sad, because you made the right decisions at every step of the way… it would have been necessary to have the tractor trailer driver with you, so starting back towards him was smart, and then the woman saw that one man cared, and was able to whisper to you, and that was probably the one kindness and caring she had felt for who knows how long... It’s sad that someone can make all the right decisions, and yet forces and other people can be beyond one’s control at crucial moments. So searing, heart filled, tragic. Yet one men cared.♥️

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Thanks Karen for the heartfelt support. Snap decisions can so often reek of bad judgment by their nature. I was fortunate that my retrospect-a-scope was in line with my in-the-moment thinking.

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Heather Brebaugh's avatar

Timing. You dropped under that bridge at that time on that night to experience that cruelty. Maybe wisdom learned that impacted how you treat others even today. Just thinking...

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

I definitely agree that it all goes into the "database" when I make decisions or am tempted to cast aspersions anywhere.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

Yes, Heather. We are instructed to "give thanks for the good and for the bad that comes into our lives." We learn from it all. It is easy to find the lesson in the good. Less easy when we witness how brutal humankind can be.

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Jim Cummings's avatar

Some things just can't be unseen or forgotten even after so many years. This kind of horror, usually drug or alcohol fueled, happens every day but most of us never witness it like you did. It's hard to imagine what drives people to be so brutal.

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

I agree substance abuse would be high on the list, but I wouldn't be surprised if the monster was unleashed at home after witnessing, or more like enduring similar levels of violence and dysfunction. Thanks Jim.

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Joyce Wycoff's avatar

What a haunting story!

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Haunting would be the operative word - yes.

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Diana van Eyk's avatar

Unfortunately nonfiction is right. That poor woman!

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

For certain. It's a tragedy that gets played out in countless forms all over the world, probably every day.

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Penfist's avatar

Millions of times per day.

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Without a doubt - yes, every single day. I appreciate you being here.

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Louise Haynes's avatar

And you’re still healing from that experience….

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Thanks Louise but I really think it's 90 % behind me. It was certainly a bad experience but there is little likelihood that anything I did would have helped. And with the cars whizzing by, there could have been more than one fatality.

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Louise Haynes's avatar

You made a difficult decision and a wise one in the moment.

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just mud by Ron's avatar

I feel for you Mark. Things that pass before us; it's alot. May be all we can offer is a prayer if our part is limited.

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Prayers in that moment, for certain. But subsequently also try to address the underlying pathology or contributing factors. Only this minute did I make the connection between the event and my career which included many years in general medicine where I treated people with mental health disorders. Thanks, Ron, for nudging me to connect some dots.

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just mud by Ron's avatar

Mmh, no doubt Mark. May be a window opened into your future. Always appreciate your posts.

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

I certainly appreciate your thoughtful comments as well.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

OMG! That was raw. May we never have to face tests of this sort. You are wise to take away the lesson you did; but also I hope you're able to see how you could only have done so much in the short span, the situation (evidence of such violence will make anyone take stock before jumping in - this happens even before our cognitive brain kicks in) and the unexpected nature of the event...

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Thank you Reena for the feedback. Though I've run the scenario through my head dozens of times, I keep coming up with the same conclusions - which you've reinforced. In retrospect, if I could have even seen the guy, I could have tried to engage / stall him in some way with hopes that state troopers would swing by on patrol. I have stopped beating myself up over it, which enabled me to share the experience with a bunch of kind, non-judgmental folk.

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Reena Kapoor's avatar

Definitely. You were not responsible for the violence, that bad man was.

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Sharron Bassano's avatar

What a horror. A memory that will never leave you. I hope that with the telling of the story your nightmares will decrease. The woman's nightmare surely didn't.

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Mark VanLaeys's avatar

Thanks Sharon. Fortunately, I haven't had any associated nightmares in many years, but the memories are always right around the corner.

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Deborah Hart Yemm's avatar

Haunting.

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