Mark, couldn't agree more. Whether politics, religion, or culture, the trend seems to be how does your 'differentness' close my door to you and your door from me? Those interactions are fresh soil to our souls.
Shared deeper values are so important in all kinds of relationships. I feel a strong sense of community with the activists in my region. We all want a better world in one way or another.
Deep shared values are, as you point out, extremely important in holding together and energizing peace and justice movements. Yes, we all want a better world, but we need activists who are willing to invest time and effort toward keeping the ball rolling in the right direction. Thanks Diana
" The filters through which we see and interpret life have changed. Those filters not only distort truth, but in the process, convince us to focus on that which we disagree on instead of that which unites us." This is so true! We have ALWAYS been subject to propaganda (that divides us - from our schools, our churches, our media, but now it is just such an overload, so overwhelming due to the internet and TV. Thank you, Mark, for these inspiring essays. They help us stay alert. By the way, I followed your link - great song with beautifully chosen photos!
Thanks so much for your reassuring words and for checking out the song/ video. Your observation about always being subjected to propaganda is evidence that you've been paying attention for a long time. Overload and overwhelming says it all.
I identify with having past deteriorated relationships in a neglected garden. I love your metaphors! Every time I decide to reach out and see if an old friend is willing to renew the garden and replant and regrow, I get scared of rejection. I might at least write a letter though. Thanks!
Thank you, Karen. I sure do understand. it can be demoralizing to reach out and hit dead-ends. It's at least a two-dimensional problem. I reached out to my estranged brother, and started out with a benign, generic question - "So how have you been doing? He immediately started getting angry and talking about Biden. With rare exception at that point he goes on tirades belittling me - so I sign off.
Relationships go nowhere if only one person is willing to listen or make the effort to change the dynamics. All you can do is try and accept that it's an uphill battle. Tiny steps forward are to be celebrated.
Regarding the poorly tended relationships, is there a chance they only belonged to a certain phase of life anyhow? Maybe the values were close to a point, but no further.
Very good question Tara, always relevant. But between you and me it was my father, now deceased, and brother - both extremely conservative. They could just never understand how I could hate my country so much that I would vote for Obama. The more I've thought about it, the more I realize, it was just too painful to even try to reconnect. My father actually tried to make amends after a very rough spot in which angrily pulled out his gun with shaking hands and loaded it in front of me - https://markvanlaeys.substack.com/p/im-sorry-i-was-wrong
When we really see each other, it’s much harder to not like each other.
So very true.
Mark, couldn't agree more. Whether politics, religion, or culture, the trend seems to be how does your 'differentness' close my door to you and your door from me? Those interactions are fresh soil to our souls.
Thanks for your thoughts JM, and for adding another perspective from which to view my metaphor.
Shared deeper values are so important in all kinds of relationships. I feel a strong sense of community with the activists in my region. We all want a better world in one way or another.
Deep shared values are, as you point out, extremely important in holding together and energizing peace and justice movements. Yes, we all want a better world, but we need activists who are willing to invest time and effort toward keeping the ball rolling in the right direction. Thanks Diana
My pleasure, Mark. I don't really have a choice, at least if I want to be true to myself.
" The filters through which we see and interpret life have changed. Those filters not only distort truth, but in the process, convince us to focus on that which we disagree on instead of that which unites us." This is so true! We have ALWAYS been subject to propaganda (that divides us - from our schools, our churches, our media, but now it is just such an overload, so overwhelming due to the internet and TV. Thank you, Mark, for these inspiring essays. They help us stay alert. By the way, I followed your link - great song with beautifully chosen photos!
Thanks so much for your reassuring words and for checking out the song/ video. Your observation about always being subjected to propaganda is evidence that you've been paying attention for a long time. Overload and overwhelming says it all.
I agree with you - "The urgency of reversing the trends toward more divisiveness and resultant isolation cannot be overstated."
I also do tend to believe - "most people are decent and have respectable goals for themselves and their families."
Thanks Deb, I appreciate the feedback.
I identify with having past deteriorated relationships in a neglected garden. I love your metaphors! Every time I decide to reach out and see if an old friend is willing to renew the garden and replant and regrow, I get scared of rejection. I might at least write a letter though. Thanks!
Thank you, Karen. I sure do understand. it can be demoralizing to reach out and hit dead-ends. It's at least a two-dimensional problem. I reached out to my estranged brother, and started out with a benign, generic question - "So how have you been doing? He immediately started getting angry and talking about Biden. With rare exception at that point he goes on tirades belittling me - so I sign off.
Relationships go nowhere if only one person is willing to listen or make the effort to change the dynamics. All you can do is try and accept that it's an uphill battle. Tiny steps forward are to be celebrated.
Very wise! Siblings can be such a fraught relationship. My sister and I had to put in a lot of effort with each other at one stage, too! 😘
You're right about the siblings part, there are such strong feelings involved. It's great that you BOTH put in the effort.
Regarding the poorly tended relationships, is there a chance they only belonged to a certain phase of life anyhow? Maybe the values were close to a point, but no further.
Very good question Tara, always relevant. But between you and me it was my father, now deceased, and brother - both extremely conservative. They could just never understand how I could hate my country so much that I would vote for Obama. The more I've thought about it, the more I realize, it was just too painful to even try to reconnect. My father actually tried to make amends after a very rough spot in which angrily pulled out his gun with shaking hands and loaded it in front of me - https://markvanlaeys.substack.com/p/im-sorry-i-was-wrong
Oof. That’s a hard memory. Sorry you have that to carry.
Thanks Tara. The load is getting lighter as I realize how vulnerable all people are to the slow creep of tunnel vision.
Wow !!
That's a cleaned-up version of my thoughts at the time.