Although I haven't been writing on Substack since April, for some reason I read your post today. This past week some old friends from Colorado came to visit. He just learned he has cancer that has spread everywhere. He wanted to see people he knew and had shared life with. We offered no remedies, just loving kindness and gratitude for some small time together. It's amazing how some special people continue to give even in their time of need.
I wish for you and Emily whatever brings you comfort, joy, and happiness.
Loving kindness and savored time together - a gift indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and recent experience. I'm so sorry your friend is struggling no-doubt, but glad they're all making such good use of his time.
Thank you for this follow up, Mark. None of us can offer real help, but we all care. This is so important, I think "...a fully credentialed, compassionate expert has our undivided attention." So many well-meaning people with zero medical expertise offer unwanted and ill-considered advice, because they read things on line and believe they have answers. They don't, of course, but they want to help. You will get through this. It is evident your bond is strong. Your sharing gives us all a better understanding, and hope.
You are absolutely right that every cancer is different, and so is the battle. We can't force people to fight the way we think they should. Whether that is not condemning because they won't pursue a more naturopathic treatment, or demanding they try a medicine with terrible risks and low chance of success, because it might help, and we think they're refusing to fight. We all have a unique approach to how we fight holistically, and it should be respected, and encouraged.
Only Emily can know when and how to fight, and it's beautiful the way you are supporting her.
A gentle reminder to also take care of yourself during this time, because you matter as well.
Thank you so much, Joelle. The ball is indeed in Emily's court as it should be. I'm just doing the assists. Unfortunately, the ball's being held up by the insurance company regarding continuing her chemo - but that's a long book in itself.
Regarding the taking care of myself, I went for a nice motorcycle ride with a good friend yesterday and better understand what respite care is all about.
While I have no concrete, scientific or medical advice, I can offer an open heart and mind to listen and pray. For us readers who may or may not have similar experiences, there is a learning experience to put in our back pockets in case the "C" words invade any one of us or our family members. What I mostly learn from you, Mark and Emily, is how you have processed this invasion over a relatively short period of time. Not only can I learn about processing the medical side of things, but I can use your shared views and ideas to process other "storms" in my life. There is always a reason why God puts people in our lives and I am learning to savor and understand your presence in my life as dear church friends. So many walk the journey with you in the best way we know with an abundance of prayers and positive thoughts. May the outreach of this love help to surround your souls in His love.
Many thanks, Sharon. We are so fortunate to have people such as you in our close circle. The processing is one day at a time and as of today, life is mighty fine.
What you wrote here obviously comes from the heart. However intentionally or not, you provide as much or more for the reader as you possibly can for yourself. The perspectives, emotions, and facts in your experience and Emily’s are a lesson in living.
Your sharing of Emily’s way of living in this situation is for me, as a cancer survivor, especially inspirational. Yes, life is precarious and it is precious and short. Sometimes we can take its preciousness for granted. It seems to me that Emily’s perspective takes courage. When I observe her enthusiastic participation in the Search Committee of our church I can only admire her.
You writing about it is uplifting as well. Baring your situation and heart in public isn’t something everyone can do. Thank you for doing so.
Merryann and I will continue to include Emily and you in our prayers and well wishes and of course, if there’s anything you need don’t hesitate to call.
Thank you, George, for your heart-felt thoughts, perspective and both of your prayers. I'd forgotten that you'd been through the ropes yourself, so your perspective is especially poignant and appreciated.
This forum is a gift to the rest of us. Honest, Open and Real. Gut punch Love to you both in the midst of this 100 year storm.
Many thanks Priscilla - I think we'll both come out OK on the other side as we see the BIG picture.
Although I haven't been writing on Substack since April, for some reason I read your post today. This past week some old friends from Colorado came to visit. He just learned he has cancer that has spread everywhere. He wanted to see people he knew and had shared life with. We offered no remedies, just loving kindness and gratitude for some small time together. It's amazing how some special people continue to give even in their time of need.
I wish for you and Emily whatever brings you comfort, joy, and happiness.
Loving kindness and savored time together - a gift indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and recent experience. I'm so sorry your friend is struggling no-doubt, but glad they're all making such good use of his time.
Thank you for this follow up, Mark. None of us can offer real help, but we all care. This is so important, I think "...a fully credentialed, compassionate expert has our undivided attention." So many well-meaning people with zero medical expertise offer unwanted and ill-considered advice, because they read things on line and believe they have answers. They don't, of course, but they want to help. You will get through this. It is evident your bond is strong. Your sharing gives us all a better understanding, and hope.
Thank you, Sharon, for your support and encouragement. I also appreciate your wisdom, when someone like you agrees with me.
What a fucking interruption. Thank you for your courage to share .
You're welcome, Lola. And thank you very much for restacking!
You are absolutely right that every cancer is different, and so is the battle. We can't force people to fight the way we think they should. Whether that is not condemning because they won't pursue a more naturopathic treatment, or demanding they try a medicine with terrible risks and low chance of success, because it might help, and we think they're refusing to fight. We all have a unique approach to how we fight holistically, and it should be respected, and encouraged.
Only Emily can know when and how to fight, and it's beautiful the way you are supporting her.
A gentle reminder to also take care of yourself during this time, because you matter as well.
Thank you so much, Joelle. The ball is indeed in Emily's court as it should be. I'm just doing the assists. Unfortunately, the ball's being held up by the insurance company regarding continuing her chemo - but that's a long book in itself.
Regarding the taking care of myself, I went for a nice motorcycle ride with a good friend yesterday and better understand what respite care is all about.
While I have no concrete, scientific or medical advice, I can offer an open heart and mind to listen and pray. For us readers who may or may not have similar experiences, there is a learning experience to put in our back pockets in case the "C" words invade any one of us or our family members. What I mostly learn from you, Mark and Emily, is how you have processed this invasion over a relatively short period of time. Not only can I learn about processing the medical side of things, but I can use your shared views and ideas to process other "storms" in my life. There is always a reason why God puts people in our lives and I am learning to savor and understand your presence in my life as dear church friends. So many walk the journey with you in the best way we know with an abundance of prayers and positive thoughts. May the outreach of this love help to surround your souls in His love.
Many thanks, Sharon. We are so fortunate to have people such as you in our close circle. The processing is one day at a time and as of today, life is mighty fine.
I'm finding it hard to find anything to say that others have not already expressed so beautifully.
Thank you for letting us share your journey, Mark and Emily. Sending prayers and positive vibes your way.
Thanks Jim. We appreciate all that you're sending - Good Stuff
This is so beautifully expressed, Mark. Lovingkindness and peace to both of you. Thank you for sharing the beginning of this journey with us.
Thanks, Jeanne, for your kind thoughts and support
Hey Mark.
What you wrote here obviously comes from the heart. However intentionally or not, you provide as much or more for the reader as you possibly can for yourself. The perspectives, emotions, and facts in your experience and Emily’s are a lesson in living.
Your sharing of Emily’s way of living in this situation is for me, as a cancer survivor, especially inspirational. Yes, life is precarious and it is precious and short. Sometimes we can take its preciousness for granted. It seems to me that Emily’s perspective takes courage. When I observe her enthusiastic participation in the Search Committee of our church I can only admire her.
You writing about it is uplifting as well. Baring your situation and heart in public isn’t something everyone can do. Thank you for doing so.
Merryann and I will continue to include Emily and you in our prayers and well wishes and of course, if there’s anything you need don’t hesitate to call.
George
Thank you, George, for your heart-felt thoughts, perspective and both of your prayers. I'd forgotten that you'd been through the ropes yourself, so your perspective is especially poignant and appreciated.
Thank you for keeping us informed. I'm lucky to have had some interaction with Emily over the years - so she DOES matter to me.
You're welcome. Yes, I do understand, I'm glad you discovered each other.
Wishing you and Emily all the best, Mark. Take good care.
Thank you, Diana. Best to you as well.
Mark, thank you for letting us know what’s going on. We’re thinking of you both. Sending love and strength, as always!
You're very welcome, Louise. I appreciate the kind sentiments.