My Kids Never Deserved the Best *

As my gray hairs have overtaken even more of the brown’s established territory, my younger ideals are slowly giving way to reality. I’ve begun to ponder such esoteric questions as - is there a “best?” Having worked in healthcare for more than thirty years, that’s where I have the deepest well to draw from. I’ve heard people recount going to “the best hospital” or having the “best doctor.” On a rare occasion, a deluded patient would suggest that I was the best, but I knew better.

Realistically speaking, I couldn’t promise my two progeny the best healthcare for two reasons. I’m not sure what that is, and I certainly don’t know where to get it. I live in the USA and from the get go, we’re far from the best. Our neonatal mortality rate per a Lancet study done in 2012 was 4.1 deaths per 1000 live births. Iceland’s rate was 1.1, Sweden 1.6, Slovenia 1.8, and Poland came in at 2.9. Maternal mortality is also dismal in the US - almost three times higher than in other high-income countries per a study done by the Commonwealth Fund in 2020. As income disparity grows, so will the number of these unnecessary tragedies.

A few more examples of “The Best”

The Best Doctor

For starters, who gets to decide what amounts to the best doctor? The one with the best bedside manner, the one with the least number of infections in their hospitalized patients, the richest, the most intelligent, the one with the best diagnostic acumen? How about we do a survey! What would be a meaningful sample size. Ten thousand? Wow, that’s ambitious. IF we limit it to the US, that’s a whoppin’ two-hundred people per state. In Wisconsin, that’s about 3 per county. The “best doctor” is meaningless, on so many levels.

The Best Religion

This one is pretty simple though a tad bit controversial. My advice on finding the BEST - just ask the nearest Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, or Hindu and they’ll tell you. If you want a response with some attitude, ask a zealot.

How About the Best Motorcycle?

Wisconsin is the birthplace of Harley Davidson. My brother and I have always had a soft spot for both that American classic and motorcycles in general. I’ve been riding off and on since I first drove a 50 cc Benelli into our backyard fence at age thirteen - and my brother was on the back. I did a better job driving my first Harley, forty years later - a “Road Glide,” with my brother on the back. We Both Got Back Up On the Saddle.

A clean Kawasaki - Z900

I’ve ridden maybe 15 different motorcycles and am about to crack 100,000 miles, but my experience is still relatively limited. So what’s the best motorcycle? I can as an intermediate rider answer with full confidence - “It depends.” If you like tinkering with motorcycles or countless uniform options, Harley may be your best bet. If you like 68 mpg and an economic cross country machine, a Honda NC700 might be the best though it’s clearly inferior to a Harley when it comes to comfort.

How about the fastest? Is that the best one? Harleys off the showroom floor, top out at around 110 to 115 mph. Kawasaki’s Z900 tops out around 150 though I can only vouch for the first 125, and they are also butt demons on cross country trips. And then there are the Kawasaki Ninja H2R’s which boast a top speed of 249 miles per hour - great for a banked race track, or bragging rights. But which is the best, per usual, begs the additional question - For What?

How About the Best Education?

If you’d asked me decades ago, I would have spouted that schools like Harvard, Yale, Brown, and Stanford provided the best education. Maybe Oxford - it’s been around since 912 A.D ! In 2023, I would have a much more refined answer - Best Education for What? If a perspective student wants to learn the art of concentrating wealth and power for personal and political gain, Harvard and Yale grads seem to do well. Though this may be true, I’m admittedly being unfair and extremely biased because of a few bad apples who are political powerhouses. We each judge the best, based on our own set of Experiences and Filters. And especially those which have been recently acquired.

I attended three institutions of higher learning - The first being Juniata College, where I earned a liberal arts degree in Biology, the second being Northeastern University where I took a graduate course in biochemistry to meet a prerequisite requirement. The third was the University of Alabama where I learned how to be a Physician Assistant. The education I valued the most was clearly the first school because it was there that I learned how to think - to filter and process the information and misinformation that was coming at me from every direction.

*What About My Poor Kids - what do they deserve?

Did they deserve the best from me?

I think the word “deserve” is tremendously abused. It reeks of entitlement, based on class or privilege, unless it is coupled with significant and legitimate effort. If someone works hard at a job, then they deserve to be paid a fair, living wage; it is earned. They deserve at least that.

If on the other hand, someone is fed and housed, rent-free from conception through delivery, the only thing they deserve is their parents best effort at providing what they need at any given time. And that evolves into what is in their child’s best interest. Both of those bests, are really tough to pin down, and every good parent is constantly struggling to provide accordingly. For us as outsiders, it’s really easy to fall into judging someone else’s parenting, because their “best” and ours so rarely align.

Since I rarely have any idea what "the best” is, why would I think my kids deserve it.

I’ll go out on a limb here and say that my kids like every child on this planet deserve at least a few BASICS - though this is an abridged list.

LOVE AND RESPECT - after all, we are related. FREEDOM - to be and express themselves as kind people, whether or not we like what that looks like. A SUSTAINABLE , THRIVING PLANET and HOPE. EQUAL JUSTICE UNDER THE LAW, ACCESS TO AFFORDABLE HOUSING, CLEAN WATER, CLEAN AIR GOOD AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one - IMAGINE! John Lennon did

WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK BELONGS ON MY SHORT LIST?