Everybody’s got one - a friend or someone you know fairly well, who’s maybe a little odd (complicated) or simply defies explanation. We periodically have to ask ourselves - what’s the deal here? It could be a Sarah or a George, but in my case it’s a Daniel. If you don’t have such a person in your life, maybe you should seek one out. They could space out the dull moments.
I’ll readily acknowledge that we all have our different sides. Some of us struggle more than others, to figure out which of our hats we want to wear through the various stages of our lives. And then there are the inevitable ups and downs that we tend to accept as normal - at least in ourselves. But it’s so much easier to make sense of all of this, when things add up.
Though I’d known Daniel for years, I got to know him better in high school. Living less than a block away - he seemed like a decent sort. But he hung out with the stray dogs, if you know what I mean. He kept to himself much of the time, but I knew there was a lot beneath the surface judging from the baggage he carried on the outside, like his short fuse.
A few decades ago, shortly before Dan got married, Amy his fiancee confided that she was having some second thoughts about tying any knots. She shared a troubling experience they’d had when driving out west in his run-down pick-up.
A guy towing a huge RV was passing them on the interstate. No sooner had his truck passed Dan and Amy’s, than the guy pulled back into the right lane with the trailer almost slamming into their little pickup. Dan swerved onto the shoulder, barely missing the guardrail. And then he went ballistic.
With the old truck floored, he started yelling at Amy to grab the tire iron from under the seat. Her reasonable question, “ What for ? ” was met with his scary response - “to break out their windows.” She seemed more than a bit concerned that Daniel might actually have some issues.
Now contrast that tale with this one -
Dan’s father relayed a second story to me that would have taken place a few years after the above story. Both Dan and his new bride, Amy, came home a few days before Christmas to join his parents and sisters. The newlyweds were living out of state where he was starting graduate school for something like biochemistry. She on the other hand was recovering from grad school while working as an editorial assistant.
Her dream was to become a writer and she spent most of her free time either clanking away on her mother’s ancient typewriter, or shuffling around the unpaid bills.
Daniel’s dream at that point was to merely get some control over his life. Between classes, multiple labs and studying, it seemed he never stopped. I’m sure the additional loans his dad mentioned, didn’t help.
Christmas morning rolled around and all six of them opened their gifts, one at a time. His dad recounted how Daniel carefully placed the only remaining gift in front of Amy. She started to tear it open but slowed down when she uncovered the box’s markings, “Smith Corona - Electric Typewriter”
She hesitated, being caught somewhere between elation and worry. The many upturned eyebrows gave way to more than a few tears as Daniel explained. He’d been able to sell his blood plasma twice a week since he started grad school four months earlier.
Fascinating post. The two faces of Daniel ... probably a metaphor for all of us ... or maybe we "normal" ones just do a better job of hiding our "mad" Daniel. Thank you for this.
Nice perspective , Mark! Like most of us, I've been on both sides of this. There is often alot going on and that minor infraction is often just the surface. When I 'go there' with an unreasonable response, I know I need to back off on my activity or even input. Sometimes we don't see our blind spots and helpful people can help us discern. Great topic and discussion.