Don't Stir the Pot !

One of my readers recently shared an observation and then made a request. I thought his views might be shared by other readers and were therefore worthy of a more in- depth answer. His comment started - “ It seems to me that all of your stories about encounters with other people, have involved people to the political right of you.” He asked if I had had any encounters with “Antifa, violent abortion rights activists, or an anarchist” (NO), and then he suggested: “If you have any such encounters in the future - please include them in your blog, in the name of fairness and balance.” (Yes, I would be happy to do that)

So, I set out to review my blogs with an eye toward any such encounters and almost immediately got hung up on the “political right” concept. People are complex and unless they are going by a playbook or have been dumbed down, they have complex thoughts and feelings about different issues. Some would be conservative or old school regarding some issues, but liberal or open-minded regarding others.

In my view, only people stuck in “group think” have all of their beliefs molded into prescribed positions. Those individuals who blindly assimilate a given set of talking points and positions, have, to a certain degree traded their minds in for a word processor. To judge somebody as politically to the left or right of me infers that I know most, if not all, of their political positions. It also infers that I’m confidently entrenched regarding my own - which I rarely am.

My most recent blog - about Assigning an Identity is actually about an interaction I had with a FB “friend” with whom I disagree significantly. He’s considerably more to the left of me regarding gender issues and his disdain for anyone who supports Trump. However, as he was more of an acquaintance than a friend, I have no idea where he stands on dozens of other issues. I haven’t seen “Joe” in years but remember him as an overall decent guy.

I have a good friend, next door neighbor, and motorcycling companion here in Wisconsin. He always carries his holstered pistol when he rides. He’s level headed and I understand why he does it though I don’t feel it’s necessary for me. It doesn’t define him and it doesn’t effect our relationship.

A Lesson I Learned From My Daughter

Maybe fifteen years ago, my daughter “Lynn” was going to SUNY Albany, a very large school in Upstate NY. We were living an hour’s drive away when we got one of those dreaded calls. She’d broken up with her boyfriend of three years. She couldn’t relay many words but we got the message.

It was a Sunday and I decided that Suzy, her beloved dog and I, needed to make a surprise visit. So we worked out a plan. There were typically two security guards at the front desk of the lobby of her dorm - a short distance from the elevators, and no pets were allowed. Suzy, our 40 pound mutt, would need a disguise. I grabbed the smallest T-shirt I could find, and with a black magic marker in hand, created a thoroughly convincing “THERAPY DOG” vest which our canine wore with head held high.

Probably an hour later, we snuck our way past the guard desk, but to be honest, neither of them even noticed us. We made our way up to the eighteenth floor and were greeted with lots of hugs, petting, and even more tears. Our relatively short visit was a success, and Lynn joined us on the elevator as we headed down to the parking lot. We had only dropped a floor or two when a young lady got on the elevator, also headed to the lobby. I started to tell a dad joke and apparently it was a little inappropriate. We got off the elevator and strutted past the security guards with therapy dog in hand.

At that point my loving daughter turned to me with a look of horror: “Dad - I can’t believe you said that in front of her.” I defended myself -”But you did notice that she laughed - correct?” She responded with more disgust, “Dad, everyone knows that when you’re stuck on an elevator with a crazy . . . you don’t stir the pot”.

IF I ever encountered an extremist on an elevator, for example, I might be slower to engage them but quicker to humor them. Engaging anyone who is drunk, high, or beyond reproach is unlikely to go anywhere good. There are so many variables that would effect whether or not I would try to engage with an extremist. There’s a big difference between a passionate, fact-driven, non violent, altruistic activist and say a conspiracy based, self-centered violent activist. A world of difference! The former I could learn from, the latter, not so much. Neutral questions such as - “where did you get such a passion for your work” , might enable a person to vent and also convey a perspective I hadn’t heard before.

My goal with this blog is to help move the focus from the issues we disagree on to the humanity that ties us together. So many of the details we use in our attempts to “educate” our adversaries are based on half-truths at best, complete BS at worst. Unless the information we pass on is fact-checked from multiple sources for accuracy, it’s value is tremendously limited - unless it’s being perpetuated just to further divide us.