Basic Math : Kindness Plus Connection = Gift
Three Minute Read
None of us knows when a garden-variety task is going to jump out of its well-worn path, and become a memorable experience.
I had a wonderful day at the gym yesterday, but I’ll readily admit it was better than usual. The regular morning crowd / friends were absent and the place was empty, save my wife and a young woman toward the back of the gym. Having seen her once or twice a couple months ago, I called a timid - “Hi.” I know she at least said “hello,” but I really thought I might have heard a soft - “How are you?” Nowadays the latter would be a rarity.
About forty minutes later, I left the elliptical and headed toward one of my usual machines, but our fellow gym-ster was lifting weights nearby. I pointed to a bunch of weights and pulleys. “Are you using this machine?” With the sweetest of smiles she responded, “Yes, but I’m on my last set.”
It so happened that my wife was walking by at that moment, so I walked toward the attractive blond and said - “I think I’ve seen you here before — I’m Mark and this is my wife, Emily.” She put her hand out and graciously introduced herself. We did the usual chatter - Where are you from? How long have you been coming here? - etc.
She was local and we’re from a town five miles away. As my wife returned to her workout, Logan described her boyfriend who usually came with her. I did think I vaguely remembered him. She had talked him into joining the gym this past summer and she was now working on her mom.
Somehow, things got more serious
Logan, almost apologetically, offered that she was taking a year off after graduating from high school three months earlier. She slowly and intentionally explained that she was trying to find some “meaningful” work and that she didn’t want to rush into massive amounts of debt. She then conceded that spending a lot of money was inevitable if she was going to get a good education but her challenge was to sort out - “What would be worth that investment?”
Then she methodically worked her way into her main priority - “I really want to raise my own kids . . . there’s not going to be any outside daycare for them.” During the ten or so minutes we talked, I said very little. I did at one point interject the value of shadowing someone at least a couple of days before investing in her education or training.
With that sole exception, I just nodded in agreement, letting her tell her story. I never know in situations where I’m having a heart to heart conversation with someone, if I’m dragging them along or vice versa. In this case there was no loss of eye contact, grabbing nearby weights, or awkward pauses. As for me, I just wanted to quit while I was ahead - all along savoring her trust, refreshing honesty, and genuine kindness.
My go-to assumptions regarding eighteen year-olds, is that they tend to be self-absorbed, short-sighted, and lack insight. Logan definitely surprised me! And who doesn’t like a pleasant surprise?
Thank you all for spending your time here on “Us AND Them.”
That's awesome, Mark! Sometimes I'm surprised, their take on things and their curiosity for ours.
Hey Mark I just read the new version and I thought the two added paragraphs gave it more depth. I think just like with music writing is different in how it comes across and how it is perceived by different people. And maybe because like Emily I am a writer too I am more critical than the average person . You know where we get that from - Mary !!!