An All Too True, Fictitious Story - About Fred

A One Minute Read

Some of us have been beating others over the head with sticks since the first stick was invented. . .

and we can blame it all on Fred.

According to the “Live Sea Scrolls” which I discovered and then burned; the first Fred came upon the first Wilma about umpteen years ago. And they were cool with each other. But that changed one day when Wilma challenged Fred. “Why are you still beating that neighbor over the head with a stick? We now have all the food, water and land that we need.”

Fred was very big and strong, and his response that day was: “BUT I WANT MORE!” Come to think of it, he knew very few words, so that was his response to most of her questions.

There was obviously a victim here - and he was nameless. Fred refused to let Wilma even learn his name. He claimed that merely knowing that the “other guy” had a name, would weaken his resolve.

Well victims don’t always stay victims. The other guy, between beatings, was scheming. Ya see, he always wanted more too. Since he wasn’t big or strong, he wasn’t just thinking, he was inventing.

He revolutionized Fred’s stick design. He took a piece of his grapevine and attached a big rock to the end opposite the handle. It was with this most modern of devices that he slayed Fred one night as he slept. And “Brutus” dragged Wilma back to his cave, kicking and screaming - and he had more!

Over many thousands of years, very little has changed - but the sticks have gotten progressively bigger. Those who can’t acquire the largest of sticks just use their smaller sticks with unparallelled brutality.

Thus, it has been, and apparently always will be . . . unless we can learn from the Ghost of Wilma. Her soft voice can still be heard echoing through the hills -

“How’s that workin for ya Fred?”