A Eulogy for My Bride
June 21st, 2025 - a four-minute read
I’ve hesitated for months to even try to honor Emily because she was so complex and spiritually attuned. But here is my feeble attempt -
We first met while working in Yellowstone National Park, late summer 1977. After a few light conversations over meals in the staff cafeteria, I invited Emily for a date to a ghost town north of the Yellowstone. It was there, late in the afternoon, that we wondered into an abandoned cemetery - and talked about everything from baby’s memorialized with tiny remnants of tombstones, to life after death, and reincarnation. From that moment, I realized that Emily Jean Lissandrello had one foot on this planet and the other - not in the clouds but in the heavens - and those were limitless. She was and I’m sure still is, an explorer of the light.
Emily has devoured thousands of books, sifting through the lives and challenges of people around the globe and throughout time. She was especially intrigued by widely divergent spiritual leaders of substance. And she was most saddened by the agenda driven, and exclusive nature of so many religions which have been used as tools to separate people into the worthy and the unworthy. Jesus never did that, and either did Emily.
But before I go on and lift her onto some pedestal, let me acknowledge - she did have her flaws. For starters, even though she very rarely got angry, she did have one particular four-letter word that she dropped way too often. This included a month before she died when someone I know accidently punched out a glass globe on one of our lamps while demonstrating a karate block. I can’t say the word here because we’re in a church - BUT I can say, it began with an M and ended with ARK. And it was always delivered with a lot of passion.
From my perspective, she had other “flaws.” She never seemed to be able to emulate the most natural of human tendencies. For instance, even though she had a strong sense of right and wrong, she never learned how to be judgmental of the people who held different views.
Even though she was generally soft-spoken, she never learned how to bite her tongue when her inner voice told her to speak up against injustice or on the behalf of the disadvantaged.
She never learned how to triangulate against anyone regardless of how “wrong” they appeared to be.
And she never learned how to carry heavy burdens such as fear, malice, regrets, bitterness, or hatred.
Some might say that Emily marched to a different drummer, but I would say she merely listened to and followed her higher angels. And that served her, and those who knew her - very well.
We were lifelong partners on our quest to bring a little more light into this often too dark world - and Emily did just that with her blog - Building Bridges of Oneness, and more recently with her passion for pollinator friendly - native gardening. She was always trying to bridge those gaps between earth and heaven, between peoples of all faiths and cultures, and between human beings and nature.
Emily never played the “Poor Me “card. She went to the gym with decreasing frequency starting around December. Sometime in January, I saw a new woman there, a little younger than us, and introduced myself. Then I called over and introduced “Robin” to Emily who was sporting her bright-colored chemo cap. They talked for a few minutes that day and then maybe five to ten minutes, a couple weeks later. Though Emily stopped going to the gym shortly thereafter, I didn’t see Robin myself until six weeks after Emily passed. We exchanged pleasantries and then with all the innocence in the world, Robin asked - “so how’s Emily doing?”
When I said she died March 3rd, this mere acquaintance started sobbing. After a long, consoling hug she was able to get out the words - “I just really liked her.” And that was the effect that Emily could have. She connected, and that person knew they were loved.
She was a blessing to all those who stepped within her ever-enlarging circle. To quote the words of Joy Fuller, (from her book entitled, The Glorious Presence,) “Living love into expression is the greatest and most exciting adventure anyone can experience.” That is exactly what Emily spent her life doing here - and will do - as she ventures into those limitless heavens beyond.
Video of the Worship Service with Eulogy minute 46 to 53 given
The celebration of her life, created by Emily, was amazing. I loved it that the wonderful minister thought closing with a circle around the sanctuary would be too difficult for us and we did it anyway, singing “Let there be peace on earth.” Thank you for sharing her ashes with those nearest to her. We’ll hold them safe in Massachusetts until you arrive by motorcycle in the fall and you can join us placing her ashes in our garden.
Mark, it’s hard to add anything that hasn’t already been said, but know that I am thinking of you during this time. I’m here and listening.